My Day

My day started out like this:

"WTF??? I JUST WENT TO SLEEP!"

and quickly progressed to this:

"I HATE THE WORLD TODAY!"

which was not too wonderful during work/lunch (although I did have fun during mine and Marie's joint "fuck the world" session").

At 1:30 I was in class, waiting for my professor to show up. When he came in at 2:00 and said that we were presenting our sketches, I almost had to scream....but I didn't. Hahaha.

By 3:45, I had given my presentation and walked home to sit with Marie for a little while before heading to Digital Photo...aka the class that should be relatively stress-free, but because of a slightly inappropriate dream is not.

An hour later I was in the Lab laughing with some friends and being goofy.

By 6:30, I was stressed and could feel a knot form between my shoulder blades.

At 7:30, Marco, the soccer player from Miami walked me home (it was the first time we had met).

At 8:30 I was eating Chinese and drinking wine with two of my favorite people in the world, and now at 9:30 I am satisfied with the world (albeit a little sleepy).

And that was my day.

Bundle Up!

I hate the cold.

I hate the fact that I break out when I'm cold.

I hate that when it's cloudy and cold, I feel like my soul has been sucked out.

I love looking at large expanses of untouched snow.

I love playing in the snow.

I love cuddling under blankets.

I love hot tea.

Last night when we played out in the snow, everything seemed so peaceful and magical. There were still flurries coming from down from the sky. When the lights would hit them, they would sparkle and look like glitter falling from the sky. It was very calming, soothing.

I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight

As you probably know, I have been working through how exactly I feel about God and religion. I have come to several conclusions, but one of them is that while I believe in a Supreme Being--God--I don't necessary believe that it works in our everyday lives. It is a transcendent being that created the world and then stepped back, thus allowing us to make our own decisions. I don't reall think that there is some grand plan that God has for each of us, and I'm fine with the idea of creating my own future based on my decisions rather than thinking that if something's meant to be, it will happen.

That being said, I've noticed that when I'm upset and struggling, I still call out to God asking for relief or direction. I don't really think that this is out of habit, because I've never really subscribed to the grand plan theory. It's never really crossed my mind that I did this until a few weeks ago, and I've been trying to figure out why. I think it's interesting...

List of Possible Careers

Visual Communications:
graphic designer
photographer
interior designer
advertising/creative director
layout person
illustrator
newspaper
magazine
etc.

Religion:
pretty self-explanatory...not really a direction I want to go in...hence the "real" major

Other:
stripper
prostitute
***Marry Rich***
something that includes traveling around the world

mreh.

See, I can smile!

Last night I was feeling sad, frustrated, angry, and hurt about a situation. At the same time I was having a long conversation via texting with a good friend of mine.



A: "You know that I brighten your day, so don't pretend otherwise."

R: "Well, I have to admit that you are good at that."



It came at the perfect moment, and put a smile on my face. It's the simple things in life that can turn your day around.

New Soul

I changed the name of my blog to New Soul because after thinking about the lyrics of Yael Naim's song, "New Soul," I found it to be quite applicable to my existence...and to the existence of every other living soul.

I'm a new soul

I came to this strange world

Hoping I could learn a bit 'bout how to give and take

But since I came here, felt the joy and the fear

Finding myself making every possible mistake

See I'm a young soul in this very strange world

Hoping I could learn a bit 'bout what is true and fake

But why all this hate? Try to communicate

Finding trust and love is not always easy to make

This is a happy end

Cause you don't understand

Everything you have done

Why's everything so wrong

This is a happy end
Come and give me your hand
I'll take you far away
I'm a new soul
I came to this strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit 'bout how to give and take
But since I came here, felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake
New soul...
In this very strange world...
Every possible mistake
Possible mistake
Every possible mistake
Mistakes, mistakes, mistakes...

Life is trial and error. There isn't any easy way to get through it (unless you don't take chances, I suppose...but that's fairly boring) without making mistakes. It's what one learns from the mistakes that one made that determines the type of person he or she is.

My Happy Place

This evening, Linz and I rented What Happens in Vegas with Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher. Now, while it was humorous and light-hearted it wasn't particularly inspiring (as you can probably guess). However, in one part of the movie Kutcher asks Diaz when she was last happy. She thinks it over for a few minutes and replies, "before I had a job or responsibilities I took the ferry to a lighthouse and just sat on the beach for a day listening to the waves."

Now, you probably know that I feel so at home near large bodies of water--especially near the ocean, but that isn't always possible since I live in the center of the United States (which is unfortunate). However, I must say that I am happiest when I am near the ocean as well. I have a sense of peace and calm when I hear the waves crashing and feel the wind blowing that I cannot get anywhere else. When I am near the ocean, I feel light, satisfied, untouchable, worry-free...it's so amazing.

Maybe in a year or so I'll be closer to the ocean...for now, I'll make do with what is (when I'm home) my backyard...