Life is a Blank Canvas

This is the fourth time tonight that I've sat down to write something on here. There are so many things going through my head (nothing major, though) that it just seems easier to keep them there.

1. I've been working pretty steadily on the book. It's coming along great! So far, I have about 25% of it finished...which is good, but not great. It's okay; I plan to focus on it over spring break. Other things like a formal paper for senior seminar, a stock portfolio for business, photo projects, and creating presentation boards, billboards, paper advertisments, and website layouts for various projects in concepts are keeping me busy, too.
2. The way that you stare, starts a fire in me. Come up to my room, you sexy little thing. Let's play a game, I won't be a tease....I've been getting weird vibes lately.
3. I've been thinking about my spiritual life quite a lot. I don't really feel as though I'm lacking anything...I wish I had more time to spend figuring out exactly what I believe. I mean, I know the basics, but there are sooo many layers to figure out. From what little I know about it, I think I may have slight Existentialist leanings? Buddhism really speaks to me too, but at the same time, I don't know if I'm quite ready to cut all ties to Christianity. I don't really know what's holding me back...I mean, Jesus was a very inspirational man, but no more so than the Buddha or Muhammad (at least to me).
4. I'm getting tired of calling guys "fucking assholes," "douchebags," and the other various names that we use. Sure, there are some [I can specifically think of one right now that should truly be scared] that genuinely deserve those titles...but I think of the great guys in my life and I feel bad for generalizing them in with the few bad ones. I don't want all of the guys to think that I'm a complete bitch just because they've had a bad experience or two with one girl.
5. I'm excited for this weekend! Dancing on Thursday, concert on Friday and other various activities...woot! I love my girls so, so much, and I don't think I tell them this nearly enough.
6. Hmm...let's see, what else was there....? OH! The weather! What the hell?! Seriously, it was a lovely 65-70 degrees (albeit cloudy and starting to rain) when I went to the lab yesterday afternoon, and when I left three hours later, it was 43 degrees. I am so NOT okay with this. And there's a 30% chance for snow tomorrow. Seriously, MO.
7. I just want to say that I love my mom so very much. She's a spectacular woman, and I hope that I can be like her when I grow up. We have our disagreements and such, but she's always been so supportive of me--in all of my decision-making--and I know that not everyone has this. We have such an open relationship, and I'm thankful that I don't have to hide things from her, and I'm glad that when we talk on the phone, it's just like talking to one of my best friends.
8. I want to play the stock market. I don't have the time, especially with the fluctuations that are going on in the economy in present times. Sometime soon, when (if?) things settle down, I will give it a serious go.
9. I feel like I should have an even 10....
10. Have a good rest of your week!

Nothing too profound

So, I may not know exactly what or who I believe in at this time (religiously speaking) but I do know this:

Peace

Love

Compassion

Tolerance

Equality

Are all necessary.

I'm not struggling

Last week, I was in the car with a friend of mine, and we began talking about religion (probably because I mentioned that I was taking Buddhism...) Anyway, he asked if I had ever gone through a spiritual crisis.

After thinking about it for a few minutes, I replied that I hadn't but that I had changed (grown?) a lot spiritually (although, I suppose that some people would say that I have moved backwards). When I first came to college, I proudly called myself a Christian. Don't get me wrong, I was completely tolerant of other religions and accepted their validity, but I knew that in order to have eternal life, I would have to accept Christ.

I grew up Methodist, and my entire family is extremely open-minded and accepting of other religions as well. Both of these things have helped me along my spiritual journey. Now, I don't know what I consider myself. I still agree with the teachings of Jesus, but a core part of Christianity is the exclusivity of it. In order to reach Heaven or to be pardoned by God, one must accept Jesus as the Son of God. Not everyone is comfortable with that, and I cannot believe that eternal damnation is in store for all of the people of other religions/spiritual leanings.

Ghandi believed that everyone is going towards the same goal--climbing the same mountain so to speak. How we get to the top (Truth?) just dependent on our cultures and beliefs. There's no right or wrong way to approach it as long as you try.

Just a Pondering or Two

I'm currently reading Eat, Pray, and Love by Elizabeth Gilbert (http://www.elizabethgilbert.com/eatpraylove.htm). So far, it is an excellent book!

Anyway, in the first part, Gilbert is describing time when she was questioning why she was married to her husband. Every night, after he was asleep, she would go into the bathroom and cry. During one of these sessions, she hears God speak to her for the first time. After painting this scene, she goes on to describe how she views God. This is the part that really grabbed me.

"And while I do love that great teacher of peace who was called Jesus, and while I do reserve the right to ask myself in certain trying situations what indeed He would do, I can't swallow that one fixed rule of Christianity insisting that Christ is the only path to God."

Ok, so that is established. I completely agree with that. Spirituality is personal; therefore, each person experiences it differently.

But, here is my favorite part:

"God is an experience of supreme love."

That's just fantastic! I whole-heartedly agree!