All I Have to Say Is

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There. That feels better.

I'm tired of pursuing something/someone that won't work out. It's not worth the time, energy, emotions. Bah.

Okay. Now, that really does feel better. G'Night! :)

It's a False Ideal

"Chicks before dicks" is such a lie. It's a great thing to shoot for, but it doesn't really work out.

Apparently, Not Enough Time Had Past

Two posts in one day?? Crazy!

The sperm-donor called a couple of hours ago. I hadn't spoken to him since March 4 (his birthday). I had just realized that it had been a grand, long time since we had spoken, and I was really enjoying the peace.

*Shattering glass*

He called, because he was lonely. Maybe if he didn't fuck up every relationship in his life, he wouldn't be so lonely. He wants me to go to the ranch on weekends this summer; he wants to come visit me this weekend and take me out to dinner. Whatever. It's not going to happen--I'm not going to get sucked back into his grasp. It's taken almost 12 years for me to get to where I am now with him, and it's still not satisfactory for me. I'm sooo close to being able to be through with him.

During the conversation tonight, he made me feel sorry for him. That jerk. I don't want to feel sorry for him. I want to feel indifference, dammit.

Anyway, I had to get that out of my system. I'm okay--just really frustrated.