The Letter I Will Never Send

Dear _______,

I just want you to know how much you have hurt me. You have lied to me, manipulated me, made me feel like shit, and made me feel guilty for things that were beyond my control. You have toyed with my emotions. Although you have been supportive (when it's convenient for you), you have also let me fall when I've needed you the most.

I should be able to count on you, and it breaks my heart to know that I cannot.

I can't imagine how different my life would be, how different I would be, if we had stayed. I can only imagine that it would have been hell. Although I was angry and upset at the time, I have since learned that it was not a healthy environment.

I can't believe anything you say, and I can't think that anything you do has an ounce of altruism in it. You don't truly care about anyone but yourself. What a sad and lonely life it must be. I suppose someday, after I have forgiven you, I will feel sorry for you. However, right now, I cringe at the thought of even seeing you, of putting on the charade that everything is okay, and that we have a tolerable relationship.

If you really think that we do, you have to be fooling yourself. There is only one reason that I have for not completely cutting you out of my life. One, single thread holds us together, and fortunately for you, it is a strong thread. Every time I say that I want to cut you out, this amazingly wonderful person talks me out of it. It would really surprise you if you knew who it was.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know how much you have hurt me. I know that you are able to twist everything around so that you aren't held responsible. I wish I knew how you could sleep at night; I truly do.

Unfortunately, I have to end this with I love you...because I do. Despite everything you have done...or haven't done.