It Was the Era of Backstreet Boys and Nsync

I just had an intense flashback from when I was 13 (a decade ago!!).
It included the following:

• A trip with my church youth group
• Realizing, for the first time, that it is not uncommon for couples to cheat on each other
• Becoming aware that I was not helping the above situation at all
• A hotel room
• A movie
• An 18 year old boy in my bed
• Being extremely uncomfortable
• Being happy that my mom decided to chaperone this particular trip

Oh, the days of youth.

Breathe In, Breathe Out: I Need a Mantra

I need to focus on the good things that are happening around me so that I don't slip into a funk. If I get in too deep, I don't think I'll be able to crawl out of the dark hole. So, instead I will push those thoughts off into some corner of my mind that I will unlock eventually. Rather than focusing on my feelings of inadequacy, anger, and sadness, I will think happy thoughts and make it through the day.

I Blamed Dr. Esposito for this, and She Said, "Thank you! I accept full responsiblity!"

I read another book by Albert Camus.

Apparently, I didn't ease into his books like I should have...I went straight from The Fall to The Stranger in which Camus explores what he termed, "the naked ness of man faced with the absurd."

Here's just a quick excerpt from the book:

He said that he had peered into it and that he had found nothing, gentlemen of the jury. He said the truth was that I didn't have a soul and that nothing human, not one of the moral principles that governm men's hearts, was within my reach. "Of course," he added, "we cannot blame him for this. We cannot complain that he lacks what it was not in his power to acquire. But here in this court the wholly negative virtue of tolerance must give way to the sterner but loftier virtue of justice. Especially when the emptiness of a man's heart becomes, as we find it has in this man, an abyss threatening to swallow up society.

If that doesn't cheer you up, I don't know what will...Haha!
Have a great week!

"Your day must have been better than mine; I broke my ankle."

Well, suck it up, and stop being such a dumbass.

I know he's not a happy person; I know that he's very lonely most of the time. I also know that all of this is his own doing and that I will never ever feel bad for him. The people who could help totally see him as an upstanding and amiable citizen.

I'm bitter right now, but I'll be better in the morning.

And, I'll be great when I'm through with him.

This Could be a Good Thing.

But, I don't want to jinx it.

In other news: what a beautiful day!! It's going to be a great weekend! :)

Currently Waiting on Banana Bread to Come Out of the Oven

I wish it would storm right now. I feel like flashes of lightning, cracks of thunder, and pouring rain would be good for my psyche.

My domestic side is feeling especially ambitious this afternoon as I am currently baking an experimental banana bread (I took the original recipe and added some twists), and I'm going to be making a pizza tonight for dinner. I made an oregano/basil crust, and I'm using tomatoes marinated in olive oil, salt, pepper, and garlic for the sauce. The toppings are artichoke hearts, black olives, red onion, mushrooms, and fresh mozzerella. It's going to be so delicious! The girls I work with have inspired me to become more creative with my cooking as well as using better and fresher ingredients. It's pretty exciting! Right now, the actions of baking are soothing to me.

I need to be careful where I tip-toe. I'm dancing dangerously close to a line. If that line gets crossed, there will be no turning back.

Sometimes, Words are Too Much

Look at this first:

http://www.daniellecorsetto.com/gws.html

The best friendship question ever: advice or sympathy.

Sometimes we are too quick to shell out advice. I know I want to try to help when a friend is in need; I want to try to fix the problem.

It's important to remember that people sometimes just need a shoulder to lean on and someone to hold their hand while they work through a problem.

I know I need to keep this in mind.

Visiting the 65020

beautiful drive - winding roads - a kitten, a goose, and a fawn - long talks at the dinner table - bunking with Maggie since I still don't have a new bed - shopping during the busiest weekend at the Lake - driving around, trying to find a new umbrella for the picnic table (and realizing that there is exactly 1 remaining in Camden and Miller counties) - boat rides - Grandparents thinking that Lady Gaga is "Jivey" - realizing that all of the pens I use on a regular basis are from drug reps - learning how to sign the word "enthusiasm" in ASL - adopting Maggie's new found philosophy of "you can be right or you can be happy" - playing with Val's huge dog that comes up to my hip - long drives with Jake - being stressed out and frustrated beyond belief - watching a fireworks show compete with lightning (and failing miserably) - getting "pulled over" by the boat patrol only to realize that the man is BFFs with everyone on the boat - creating a dessert by dipping a spoon into peanut butter, then into dark chocolate chips, and then into coconut - taking some kickass photos - getting a few fabulous new shirts - exploring new highways - having an intense craving for Chinese food at 10:30 AM during church - being encouraged by the preacher to text/tweet during the service - working a sound board - laying on blankets in the grass - reaffirming my awe of people who can sign in ASL fluently - learning that AM wants to move to Korea within the next year to teach - "We stand in an unbroken line of splendor" - having Jake ask me if my biological clock was "tocking" yet - being extremely uncomfortable of the fact that my ovaries and uterus were a topic of discussion for such a long time - successfully avoided all contact with Jeff (I've decided that sperm donor is too cold) - leaving Stellz for the first time - missing LinzMarieStellz - feeling hurt and confused - being tired of the drama and selfishness - enjoying nature - celebrating my great-grandmother's 91st birthday - spending lots of quality time with family