Monday, May 18, 2009

Stella Loves Sitting in the Windows

Now that things have calmed down a little, maybe I can write something of substance.

Last week was jammed with packing, moving, cleaning, parents bringing furniture, and the obligatory "end of the semester" activities. Now, it's time to take a deep breath.

*deep breath*

I've been spending a lot of time thinking about what has happened between May 2008 and May 2009 (I know. Normal people do this type of reflection around January 1--deal with it). I don't feel like I've changed that much...I've just experienced a lot! There have been beautiful and happy experiences along with the bleak and depressing ones. I think what is really provoking this thinking is that I have officially moved out of my family's house. Sure, I've been "out" for a long time now, but this is one of the biggest steps towards "adulthood" that I've taken since leaving for college (and yes, I realize that this is true for most people).

I've spent more time thinking about what I believe, what I don't believe. What I can do, and what I can't do. What I want from my life, and what I have realized that I can completely do without. I think for the first time, I am completely satisfied with the way things are going; I am completely happy with myself and who I am becoming.

There are still some issues that I need to resolve, but I know that I have the strength that is necessary. I'm not worried anymore about becoming bitter--it's all going to be fine! I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders!

No comments: